Human beings are sexual in nature. They have sexual desires, feeling, thoughts, and fantasies. Someone with a disability, both intellectual and physical, doesn’t change them from others when it comes to their sexuality. They will want to have it and express it just like anyone else. Even WHO has said that sexual health is essential for every individual. It keeps them healthy both physically and mentally.

Sex is indeed important for everyone, and sex is something that everyone wants to have, and that includes people with disabilities too. Having a disability certainly doesn’t mean that you are deprived of having sex. Indeed, you might not be able to engage in regular sex, but even a person without disabilities has their own concerns when it comes to sex.

Common misconceptions that surround sex and disabilities

We live in a society where we predominantly connect sex with normative. Because of that, intellectually and physically disabled people are unfairly viewed when it comes to sex. In fact, the majority of the population doesn’t even count them in whenever they about sex. The myths and misconceptions surrounding disabled people and their sexuality are incorrect, offensive, and frustrating. This must be changed.

In the U.S alone, there are roughly 61 million people who have some kind of disability. Think about it once, is it fair to keep them away from their sexual feelings and desires. Don’t they have the right to have sex just like anyone else?

In addition to that, people often consider sex to be taboo for people with disabilities, which is why it is rarely discussed. Unfortunately, society has a set image for a sexually attractive being, and in that definition, people with disabilities seem to have no place. Therefore, to be labeled as a non-sexual being is not just unfair but incredibly devastating.

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Concerns that May Bother You about Sex

People with or without any disability often have concerns when it comes to sex and sexuality. It is already understood that people with disabilities may have to approach sex differently, but their concerns are similar to those without any disability. For example:

●       They often worry about sharing their sexual desires and feelings with others, thinking they may be judged. 

●       One study reported that people with disabilities often fear if they can have children. 

●       They worry if they will have pain while having intercourse.

●       They lack confidence in their sexual performance. 

●       They worry if they will be able to satisfy their partner. 

●       They worry about whether their partner finds them sexually attractive or not. 

●       And many are concerned whether they will be able to find someone who will accept them as they are.

What one needs to understand is that having these kinds of concerns is entirely normal. The vital thing to do is find a way to get over these thoughts to have fulfilling sex. By changing the way, you have been having sex may help you overcome your concerns. In addition, speaking to a healthcare professional can also help. Healthcare professionals deal with these issues often, and they know how to help you. Therefore, don’t negate the thought of meeting an expert.

Why Should You Value Your Emotions?

Your emotions will play a key role in having sex. Human beings are emotional creatures. They want to be cared for, loved, and accepted. Always remember that your disability can never define you. However, you have a right to express yourself. And the more you express yourself, the better chances you will have of having good sex. Talk about your insecurities with your partner and let them know about your state of mind. You should state your sexual needs clearly because your partner will never understand what you need if you don’t. That’s why start communicating.

Whether it is you with a disability or your partner, you must keep an eye on one another. For example, someone with depression and poor health will undoubtedly have less inclination to have sex. In such cases, ensure to take them to a specialist so that they can heal and be cured.

If you are not born with a disability and have endured it because of an accident, you must acknowledge and accept your new way of life. Some people may not be able to have sex at all. You and your partner will have to figure out how to move on and live a normal life together even if you can’t have sex.

If you feel overwhelmed about your disability and the concerns you have regarding your sexuality, you should never keep it to yourself. There will be people in your life who will care for you. See friends and talk to them about what you are dealing with. Your emotions matter too.

How to Have Sex with Disability?

As we said, your disability should never stop you from having sex. Sex is more than having a few minutes of enjoyment; it’s about how it makes you feel overall. You may not be able to have sex with someone right away, but there are sex tools that you can try to keep your sexual health intact. But before trying the way out, you need to find what sex really means to you. The better you understand the meaning, the more comfortable you will become towards sex.

You may not want intercourse, but only looking for closeness and intimacy. If that makes you happy, then go for it. On the other hand, you might feel comfortable with masturbation only and not penetrative sex. Whatever works for you, try that. But, again, it’s about communicating your thoughts to a partner, if you have one so that they can understand what makes you feel good about your sexuality despite having some disabilities.

Another thing that you can do is including a sex worker or a sex therapist. If your disability has made you stay away from sex for a long time, it can be of value in helping you fall in love with sex again. Moreover, sex therapists and workers can also help you with some ideas that you can try. Just ensure that you are meeting accredited, genuine, and experienced professionals.

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Understand Your Body and Connect with It

To ignite the passion within you, you first need to connect with your body. You need to realize that your body may feel the urge to have sex even if you are disabled. Disability often makes people disconnect from their bodies. Whether it is a physical or mental disability, both make you feel that your body parts are only anatomically useful.

However, when you are disabled, you have a better chance of connecting with your body. Take advantage of that. Reconnect with your body by meeting the therapist, learning from others how they cope up with the disability and still have sex with their partners. Find a new way to see yourself and take the first step to become a sexual human being.

Talk to Your Partner About your Desires and Needs

If you have a partner, they need to know about your needs and desires. A person with a disability often has sex differently than the normal sex process. If there are some emotional differences between your partner and you because of one of your disabilities, it is prudent to resolve that. Both of you need to accept that someone has a disability, and things will be a bit different, but none of you should be either flippant or too serious about it.

If you are recently disabled, you and your partner should see a professional who will suggest better ways to communicate with each other physically. Be honest with one another and try to understand their emotions, expectations, and needs. If you have learned that you need to have sex differently, bring your partner to the same page. Let them be part of your journey.

Always Be Open to Try New Things

Keep an open mind and keep trying new things. Many people feel uncomfortable having sex differently and trying new things because they think it will be difficult. But unless you try, how will you learn to have sex with your disabilities? That’s why you need to be open to try new things. For example, you can read an erotic story to feel aroused, hug your partner without wearing any clothes, watch a romantic movie with erotic scenes together, and try to feel each other’s skin without being sexual.

These things are tested and have helped many to become intimate. While trying these techniques for the first time, you may have some trial and error, but don’t stop it there. You need to keep trying this technique again. Even scientists make mistakes in their first experiment, but they don’t lose hope. And since it’s about your sexual desires and feelings, don’t back down.

Be Confident About Yourself 

Whether you are disabled or not, approaching someone or even gathering the courage to masturbate will become immensely challenging if you don’t have confidence. Sex can be complicated, but you can try many other things to make yourself confident. For example, kissing the person you love, play with her hair, watch an erotic movie together, and so on. Start by taking baby steps, and gradually you will learn what works best for you and your partner.

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Easy Sex Positions to Try for People with Disability

For disable people who want to enjoy sex to the fullest, here are some easy sex positions that you can try out:

Modified Missionary

The partner without any disability will stand in between the legs of the disabled partner. The disabled partner will sit at the edge of the bed rather than lying down. The giver has to lift the receiver’s legs. If need be, a chair can be used to rest the legs of the partner with limited mobility. This position is ideal for people who have limited mobility.

Intimate Sitting

In an intimate sitting position, the disabled person has to be at the bottom, while those without any disability will be at the top. So, the disabled partner will sit on the bed first and will outstretch their legs. You might have to use a pillow to rest against your back to enjoy this position comfortably. Then, the person on the top will put their feet on the bed and bend the knees. This position will let you get intimate face-to-face.

Face to Face

In this position, the partner who is disabled will sit on a chair comfortably. Pick a chair that has a backrest but a removable armrest to adjust themselves. The person without any disability will sit on top of the facing their partner with legs on the ground. The person on the chair can grab their partner’s buttocks to increase their intimacy. This sex position is suitable for people with chronic fatigue, muscle spasm, or other types of mobility issues.

Side-Lying

In side-lying, both partners will lay on their bed sideways and face the same side. The giver can put their leg on top of the receiver. In this position, both partners can have one another to the fullest. Both partners’ hands will stay free, and this position is ideal for people who suffer from restricted movements. People with chronic pain, arthritis, and lower back pain can try this position too.

Modified Doggy-Style

Unlike the regular doggy style, the modified version will need a chair. The partner with a disability will be sitting on a chair. If the disabled partner uses a wheelchair, they can use that too. The receiver will sit on top of the giver but letting their back face their partner. Now come close to a bed or a table to hold it while trying the modified doggy-style position. This person benefits people who have hip pain or are wheelchair-bound.

Bottom Line

Never feel discouraged if you are disabled in any way. Remember, you have the right to feel pleasured and loved just like anyone else. Always be creative while having sex, don’t lose hope, and communicate with your partners to take care of the barriers, accept your disability, and finally be open to trying sex. It’s all about working around your disability and finding a way to enjoy sex because you deserve to have good physical intercourse.

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